Some “Body”

Some “Body”

This post is not meant to diagnose, treat, or save you from mental illness, if you or someone you love is in danger, please get help. You can text HOME to 741741 to be connected with a crisis counselor. I personally have.

http://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts

Today I have been thinking a lot about the separation between body and mind. I have been having trouble sleeping and I am sick with a virus as well. I am confident that I can beat the virus, although I did begin to get the chills and shakes. Do you know what I mean? Right before you get really sick a warm blooded, flushing feeling creeps through your veins, followed by an icy chill and a stiffish neck….? Well that’s how I was feeling two day ago, with a sore throat too. However, my episodes have been manic: I am having racing thoughts, trouble concentrating, And an inability to….wow it happened. I zoned out and could not concentrate on anything in that moment.

Pause for errand and phone call…..

Now I have a visitor…

Okay, that took a long time to do. I’m back now in the place that makes me feel the most safe.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of that over and over, like I think one thing is bad, but I have to reframe the way I think and “realize” that I am not on a crusade or a Cruiz ship. I get told to “remember that this isn’t a vacation”, “you just want to live in fairy tale land” and that hurts right? Hearing you’re “crazy” or not. Hearing you’re any word in the wrong context can actually stimulate the wrong part of your brain; the part that is fight or flight.

I try to not think of everything as a tailspin. I can choose. I have a voice, and I can make others listen to me without screaming and yelling it at each other. Discussions don’t always have to lead to disagreements, and they don’t have to be a debate where one person is so right and the other person is so wrong.

-A Manic Monday