Being Tired At The Start of The Week
This post is not meant to diagnose, treat, or save you from mental illness, if you or someone you love is in danger, please get help. You can text HOME to 741741 to be connected with a crisis counselor. I personally have. You can also call or text 988 for suicide and crisis help.
http://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts
Today I am tired, I cannot find my energy. I guess that’s why most people hate Monday’s: they are the start of an old routine. People thrive on routine, but it can become mundane and boring. Same goes for Monday’s. I was always sad as a child because people constantly made fun of my last name: Monday. They would say things like “hey Monday! What happened to Tuesday?” Adults would comment that “Nobody likes Mondays”, not in reference to my last name, but it still hurt none the less. Also, let’s not forget everyones favorite orange cat Garfield, who based most of his personality on hating the drag of Mondays.
So why is it so hard to get back into a routine? What makes it so rough? Is it the getting back to the mundane that is so hard? I am still trying to answer these questions for myself. Is it the medications for my Bipolar 1 and anxiety that make getting up and moving so hard? Or am I just like everyone else and I just hate that Monday morning alarm? Whatever the reason, I can’t help but think it isn’t just me, and that’s comforting. Just like a routine is comforting. Breaking the routine can be fun and exciting; doing the things you want to do instead of all the things you have to do. However, it takes much more effort to find your grove when you do go back to that routine. Mental health for me includes a very healthy, consistent schedule. Although, there are still instances where I have to wake up earlier or stay up later, and it’s hard to prioritize.
This weekend we had two birthday parties; I felt inclined and excited to attend both parties at my best. However, this meant throwing off my entire routine and schedule that I live by. These parties were both not involving any kind of risky behaviors, however they were still very fun, time consuming, and mentally/physically exhausting. The social aspect alone drained my cup. Not to mention the running around type errands before hand, setting up for the one party and then cleaning up to make it to the other. Don’t get me wrong, I love both hosting and attending parties, but boy does it make Monday morning all the more difficult.
Some people don’t live the Monday through Friday routine and I understand that. However, everyone has their “Monday’s”: the day you have to go back to work, your “normal” routine, or the day you wake up needing to accomplish tasks that have to be done. Maybe it’s just one day you have to wake up for that you are dreading. The want to stay in bed washes over you like hunger: it’s almost a bodily need, a craving. Depression doesn’t make this feeling anything but worse, neither does insomnia. So what do we do? What coping skills can we use to get through a Monday? I know for me it is having the proper alarms set, coffee pot ready, clothes I like laid out for the day and a schedule prepared for all of the things I have to do hour by hour. I almost have to both self care and micromanage myself into getting up. I also have to promise myself that I will do one thing that day that I will find joy in. It can be something small like stopping at a store I like, taking my coffee with me for the day, getting to watch my favorite show when it’s all over, or getting to crawl back in bed a little earlier that night.
There are times however, that we all have a Monday: the day we try so hard on, but nothing seems to go right. The days where we feel like we can’t accomplish anything right and everything is just a big giant waste of time. I can tell you that today I cannot seem to find my groove, my moxie, my “I can do it” attitude. It feels like everything that everything I do is one step forward and two steps back. Mental health can really be like this all the time: as soon as you find a good therapist, you have to find another one for example. Or as soon as you feel like you are on the right medication, you then have to up the dose or change that medication due to side effects. Maybe you are going along strong and one setback brings you back down to your beginning. Just like a Monday, it can be so hard to stand back up again and keep trying. I am not going to sugar coat it for you, it is a struggle everyday. But a friend told me recently that you can change that perspective; you can flip your hardship around into a good thing. We can change Monday to the day we GET to wake up, the day we GET to get ready for, a day we can be thankful for all of the things we have to do, because at least we are alive to do them.
My friend told me that it is all about finding the glimmer! A glimmer is the good things, the good moments in your day that make it better. Instead of always focusing on your triggers, we can instead focus on our perseverance, our strengths, our blessings, our mini accomplishments, the beauty in the little things, the comforts that keep us whole. Try to remember this when you feel like you are “having a Monday”, when you are going around wishing for a “Fri-yay”. Remember that it is not all about the trauma, but instead the growth and the hurdles that you have jumped over and through. You are making it, you are doing it, even if it’s hard. I am proud of you.
-A Manic Monday
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