Nightmares

This post is not meant to diagnose, treat, or save you from mental illness; if you or someone you love is in danger, please get help. You can text HOME to 741741 to be connected with a crisis counselor. I personally have. You can also call or text 988 for suicide and crisis help.
http://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts

I wake up in a hot sweat, my throat is pulsing, hands shaking, head spinning and I am happy to be alive. I know it was a dream, a nightmare really, but it felt so real. My body is still recovering from the trauma of it. I slow my breathing down, remind myself that I am indeed not dreaming, at home and safe.I try to imagine parts of the dream again; it is too terrifying. I get on my phone to try to distract myself. I know it isn’t my healthiest coping skill, but I need to reach out, to tell someone; communication is my best coping skill. I reach a best friend, who is able to calm me down a little, but it is also late and I tell her I am okay and safe. The truth is, I am. However, I cannot get the dream out of my mind. She mentions journaling, which I have done before, especially after my Dad died. However, that was to remember a lot of the good vivid dreams. I have never journaled all of my nightmares. Mostly because, up until this point, I haven’t had so many nightmares in a row. They are all different and make me struggle to get back to sleep.

My friend had suggested something her therapist told her, write it down and process it later. This friend, also uses chat gpt to assess her dreams and their meanings. I already know what mine was about: it is caused anxiety and still does. I am worried about dying, I am worried about the people in my life dying and I am worried about those close to me who have already died. Life is a funny thing like that, we either embrace that death is near, or we run from it. I run from it so fast it makes my mind spin. Anyway, back to the dream and all dreams: they are our minds way of processing things that happen in our lives. As someone who lives with PTSD I guess they are more common. However, they are also common with the new medication that I am on. It is for sleep mostly; the medication helps me go to sleep and stay asleep. As someone with Bipolar 1, sleep is vital to remaining out of psychotic breaks and manic episodes. I have tried herbal remedies, sleep routines and daily exertion/exercise. These tools work, however, they don’t work constantly enough to keep me on a regular sleep cycle. Hence, the need for medication. This anti-psychotic medication also keeps me out of major depressive episodes, so it’s a real keeper. However, coping with the nightmares is going to take some adjusting. I plan to do: stress management, talking to my doctor about a lower dose and IRT (Image rehearsal therapy).

IRT calls for:

• Step 1: Recall the Nightmare Write down or describe the nightmare in detail, focusing on the most distressing elements.
• Step 2: Rewrite the Dream Change the storyline to create a more positive or empowering outcome. This could include heroic actions, rescue scenarios, or peaceful resolutions.
• Step 3: Rehearse the New Dream Visualize the rewritten dream daily, especially before bedtime, to reinforce the new narrative.
• Step 4: Intention Setting Before sleep, mentally affirm that if the nightmare occurs, you’ll experience the revised version instead.

I believe these steps will work at managing my stress after said dreams occur; by rewriting the script on my nightmares, I can then move forward from replaying them in my head over and over. Also, getting out of bed and starting my new bedtime routine again is very helpful to me. Right now blogging plus sleepy times tea is making me tired. I can’t tell you the whole dream. However, I can tell you that I lost my teeth and my throat swelled up. I am off to bed and see if IRT works for me. Reframe the dream and make the dream go a different way.

-A Manic Monday